One of Us is Normal

One of Us is Normal

I’m normal.

Most people probably think they are normal, but what is normal?  “A return to normalcy” was presidential candidate Warren Harding’s campaign promise in 1920.  His opponents believed that the word was a neologism as well as a malapropism coined by Harding (as opposed to the more accepted term normality). Debate ensued, but evidence found that normalcy was listed in dictionaries as far back as 1857.

What does the dictionary have to say?   Merriam-Webster’s Online Search indicates: “2 a: according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle b: conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern 3: occurring naturally <normal immunity> 4 a: of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development b: free from mental disorder: sane.

To me it’s a lot like pornography; I know it when I see it.

Every time I get that email showing people shopping at Wal-Mart, I know I’m normal.

When I hear on the news about a congressman that hasn’t paid the taxes on his villa in the Dominican Republic and can’t remember having a $250,000 checking account, I know I’m normal.

Every time I see that PETA commercial with Pamela Anderson working the airport screening line and stripping people with fur or leather clothing, I know I’m normal.

When I see that picture of Chief Heather Fong, the first San Francisco Police Department female Chief of Police; Theresa Sparks (former male), president of the San Francisco Police Commission, CEO of a multi million-dollar sex toy retailer, and a trans gender woman; and Sgt. Stephan Thorne (former female), the first transgender SFPD police officer; I know I’m normal.

Every time someone sends me an email that I just sent them, I know I’m normal.

When Janeane Garofalo calls me a racist because I disagree with the policies of the president, but in the same breath praises the State of California for its progressive legislation (that bankrupted their government), I know I’m normal.

Every time I delete an email that shows huge pythons or wads of rattlesnakes, I know I’m normal.

When MSNBC schedules Hardball with Chris Matthews, Countdown w/ Keith Olbermann and the Rachel Maddox Show during primetime weekdays, I know I’m normal.

Every time Nancy Pelosi opens her mouth, I know I’m normal.

When I hear on the news that David Letterman’s ratings are improving after being involved in a sex scandal with his staffers, I know I’m normal.

Every time the administration announces that a Czar has resigned after having been the “best and the brightest,” I know I’m normal.

When the mainstream media characterizes the overflowing crowds at the Washington, DC Tea Party as “a small out-of-control Hitler-like mob,” I know I’m normal.

Every time another politician makes a career out of the temporary job given to him by his constituents to “fix government,” I know I’m normal.

When Barney Frank is given the assignment to investigate the so-called Financial Collapse, after it became obvious that his committee leadership was one of the major causes, I know I’m normal.

Every time I see the red and blue map of U. S. Counties showing how they voted in 2008, I know I’m normal.

When anyone questions Sara Palin’s intelligence after her book became the #1 bestseller more than a month before it went on sale, I know I’m normal.

Every time the administration accuses Fox News of not being a “news” network, I know I’m normal.

When someone asks the Supreme Court to decide if it’s constitutional to put a cross on a World War I Memorial on government land, I know I’m normal.  As a matter of fact, I believe that using a cross as the headstone for all our veterans lying in graves on government land is perfectly normal.

In other words, I’m confident that I’m normal.  What about you?