Panetta the “Weasel”

Panetta the “Weasel”

WASHINGTON – POTUS (President of the United States) is crouched in a narrow hallway somewhere in the basement of the White House speaking in hushed tones to a tall, dark and handsome man in a black turtleneck sweater cradling a secret high-tech assassination device.

The President’s rhetoric is unusually careful as he begins, “This operation is code name ‘Weasel’ and carries with it the highest level classification – TOP SECRET.  All communication is to be designated – EYES ONLY – POTUS.”

The stoic expression on the agent’s face remains unchanged as POTUS continues, “If you are captured, God forbid, this government will not acknowledge your existence.  In other words son, you are on your own and can never tell anyone what your country has asked you to do.”


Wait Mr. President.  Don’t send Leon Panetta.  He can’t keep a secret.  He won’t fall on the sword and take the blame.  He’ll blame Chaney!  He’ll tell Dianne Feinstein and she’ll tell the Associated Press its Bush’s fault.  Congress will be in an uproar.  Silvestre Reyes, chairman of the intelligence committee, will launch a formal investigation.  It’ll cost millions!

The President slowly turns with a puzzled look as he tries to find where the narrator’s voice is coming from, but calmly responds, “No . . . members of Congress are prohibited by law from leaking classified information to the press.”

Mr. President!

POTUS continues to look perplexed, “You mean; Leon Panetta, Dianne Feinstein and Silvestre Reyes would violate their oaths to this great country and compromise national security just to give Nancy Pelosi political cover?”

Duh . . . and don’t forget — even though its 2013, they still want to blame Bush!

“Oh yea,” replied the President.  “I may need to blame him on this Healthcare fiasco.  If I didn’t have the Surgeon General, I’d be standing in line waiting to see a doctor like everyone else.”

And one more thing, Mr. President?


Tall dark and handsome?  I think Panetta looks more like a weasel.